


Avengers Do Disney: The Magic Kingdom

by eddiessofa



Category: Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-20
Updated: 2012-12-20
Packaged: 2017-11-21 18:52:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/601003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eddiessofa/pseuds/eddiessofa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Avengers visit the happiest place on Earth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Avengers Do Disney: The Magic Kingdom

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kellifer_fic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kellifer_fic/gifts).



Agent Phil Coulson enjoyed his [career](http://avengersfest.livejournal.com/20754.html), found it fulfilling and challenging; even after he returned from medical leave to find that seven other agents had quit when assigned as the Avenger’s handler. Disney World, however, was a test of his patience. Tony had thrown a super Bowl party and Thor had learned about Midguardian victory customs, which is how he ended up sitting on a plane at 4 in the morning traveling to Orlando. Disney refused to let them rent the park for the day but acquiesced to letting them rent it from 6 am to 10 am.   
  
The flight went well and so did their check in to the [Contemporary Resort](http://avengersfest.livejournal.com/20754.html). While settling into his room with Clint, he noticed him putting on his Hawkeye uniform.  
  
At Phil’s raised eyebrow Clint said, “Thor is demanding we all wear our warrior garb.”  
  
“And everyone agreed?”  
  
“Except Tony, he claimed the armor wouldn’t fit on rides.”  
  
Three hours later Phil was trying to explain to Tiffany at the front gate that they weren’t costumes, they were uniforms. Thor was starting to get annoyed.  
  
“I’m sorry, sir. Those are the park rules.”  
  
“I understand [your](http://avengersfest.livejournal.com/20754.html) position, Tiffany. I do. However, we’ve rented the park and he is the god of thunder,” Phil explained calmly.  
  
“Tiny Midguardian woman. Fetch me your rodent over lord and I will defeat him and take this kingdom of magic for Asgard.”  
  
Tiffany opened the gate.   
  
The first area after the main gate was Main street USA.  
  
“Agent I assume this was what your home town looked like.”  
  
“Exactly, right until Stark Industries moved in and put all the children to work making [phones](http://avengersfest.livejournal.com/20754.html),” Phil deadpanned.  
  
“Look Tony! They sell the ears.” Steve said grabbing Tony’s hand.  
  
Phil was following them to Chapeau Hat Shoppe but stopped when Thor got distracted by the confectionary next door.  
  
“I’ll stay with him; just get us when you’re done. The big guy doesn’t like things choking us anyway,” Bruce told him before going after Thor. Phil had to admit the idea of elastic digging into his neck all day was not appealing.  
  
Inside the shop Steve had on classic black ears and Clint was trying to convince Tony to wear the R2-D2 ones.  
  
“C’mon you can have a bot on your head.”  
  
Tony looked over at Phil, “Okay but only if Agent wears the one with a suit on it.”  
  
Phil sighed. “I believe that is meant for weddings.”  
  
“We’ll get Clint the one with the veil.”  
  
“But Tony they have a Robin Hood hat!”   
  
Phil looked over to find Clint was indeed holding a green felt hat with a red feather nestled between Mickey ears.  
  
Natasha had some kind of purple set on with a dragon face, at Phil’s confused look she informed him that it was Figment.  
  
The group flowed from Main Street into Adventureland. Going through the Swiss Family Robinson tree house Clint had a look of joy, when they got to the main bedroom he lagged behind. Once the others moved he spoke.  
  
“When I was in the orphanage a nun gave me this book and I would dream about adventures with my family. Then when I went to the circus I would pretend the high wire and plat forms were part of the tree house. I always wanted to live here.”  
  
Phil’s heart hurt. “Maybe Stark will let you build one.”  
  
Clint grinned, “Steve would insist we do it the old fashioned way but Tony would try to build it all high tech.”  
  
“You guys comin’?” Tony shouted from the floor below.  
  
“Hold your horses Stark!” Clint responded.  
  
“No yelling at Disney world,” Steve warned.  
  
Phil took Clint’s hand and led him out to join the others.  
  
Steve insisted on Pirates of the Caribbean, afterwards Bruce and Tony discussed the refurb and which version was better. Tony loved the Captain Jack addition, pointing out that it gave the ride a cohesive story. Bruce lobbied for the original version, repeating “You don’t mess with classics.”  
  
Natasha wanted to ride Jungle Cruise and Phil had to admit he enjoyed their Skipper’s dry wit. He was also sure the poor kid had never had such a loud or enthusiastic group.  
  
Thor was confused at Big Thunder Railroad, as he heard no such noise but enjoyed the coaster. Phil declined to join them on Splash Mountain and Natasha stayed behind to “keep him company.”  
  
“Not interested in journeying into the briar patch?”  
  
Natasha scoffed, “No thank you. All the Southern English makes me sad.”  
  
“Are we skipping the Country Bear Jamboree then?”  
  
“And let Steve miss all the racism?”  
  
Phil laughed. The group got off the ride dripping wet and Thor insisted on buying a t-shirt proclaiming that he rode Splash Mountain and all he got was soaked.  
  
Steve was scandalized by the racism in the County Bear Jamboree, even more so by the encouraged violence. Clint spent the rest of the day humming “All the Men that Turn Me On, Turn me Down.”  
  
At the Frontierland Shootin’ Arcade all of the Avengers played the BB gun target game. Clint was forced to wear an eye patch as a handicap and Thor made everyone wear coon hats. Phil won and the photo of the team in matching hats was going on the fridge.  
  
Unfortunately the Tom Sawyer rafts and the Riverboat were closed but they all enjoyed the Hall of Presidents. Even though Tony complained the animatronics creeped him out and Thor tried to greet them. As they left Natasha remarked, “Americans, always trying to skip over the uglier parts of your past,” which led to a debate that lasted through the Haunted Mansion with Bruce.  
  
In Fantasyland, Thor made a production of meeting each Princess, bowing and asking about her homeland. By the end the Avengers were posing for pictures for the Princesses while Phil took pictures on the girls’ phones. The Princes were more subtle but he caught at least Charming and Eric slipping Clint their numbers.  
  
In front of the carousel each Avenger tried to pull out Excalibur but they stopped when Bruce started turning green under the collar. Clint got a picture at the Brave meet and play area with Merida and a toy bow. Phil adored the next shot of Clint instructing her on how to properly hold the bow.  
  
The team made their way around the castle, expressed disdain about it not being open for tours and went to Tomorrowland. Thor was a site cramped into the small rocket on Space Mountain but Steve looked amazed coming off it.   
  
“See, that was the future I was promised.”  
  
“You realize that ride is basically a giant pin ball track?” Tony asked.  
  
“But it was thrilling! Can we go again?”  
  
“Agreed good Captain. Another!” Thor boomed.  
  
Phil shook his head and Steve, Thor and Clint took off to ride it again.  
  
After taking a beating from Natasha at Buzz Lightyear’s Space Ranger Spin, they headed to the People Mover. Phil was happy to sit down and enjoy the view of the park. In the car behind him he could hear Tony telling Steve about how badly Buzz Lightyear needed recalibration until Bruce cut in and told him to accept defeat.   
  
By the end of the day Phil was exhausted but happy. The team had fun with minimal property damage. Riding the monorail back to the resort Clint leaned into him and whispered, “Just think, we do EPCOT tomorrow.”

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally meant to be in my Lost Years series, kind of a make up day for Clint because he missed Universal.


End file.
